We’ve come to the conclusion that the current metal sub-genres just don’t cut it. Pfft. No way 50+ is enough. Worse yet, distinctions like “post-techincal-grinding-hermit-death-slam” are just obnoxious. So, as such, we’ve decided to dig deeper and show you the real sub-genres with examples to boot. Take a gander.


Butt Metal

These bands peaked early on in their career, and then released a commercially successful album. Now they strive to recreate that same album every couple of years in hopes of remaining on the radio. Check out these groups if you feel like Nickelback isn’t heavy enough.

Pig Slam

These bands take the Brutal Tough Guy Slam formula and expand upon it by incorporating pig squealed vocals during the breakdowns. Recommended for fans of Dying Fetus and “Old MacDonald Had a Farm”.


Noodling Death Metal

These bands represent the more technically skilled end of the extreme metal spectrum. While the insanely fast drum fills and sweep riffs are impressive, you have to wonder if these groups always value song craft or just enjoy jerking off on their instruments.


Metallic Pop-Punk

Don’t let the occasional thrash riffs or death growled vocals fool you; the abundance of nasally cleans and emo lyrics indicate that these bands have way more in common with My Chemical Romance than they do with Killswitch Engage.


Part-time Deathcore

These bands were a big deal around ten years ago, but for one reason or another were unable to release albums on a consistent basis, thus leading to their irrelevant status. Are any of these guys still working as musicians or are they all just managing a Hot Topic somewhere?


Depressed Poetry Metal

While these bands can be enjoyed by just about anybody with an ear for good music, a bachelor’s degree in literature may be required to decipher some of their lyrics. Recommended for struggling artists and problem drinkers everywhere.


Extreme Vegan Metal

You’ll love their aggressive riffs, uncanny/relentlessly brutal vocals, and overall technical musicianship. But their lyrics will make you feel guilty for eating cheeseburgers, placing your groceries in plastic bags, and/or just being a human in general.


Edgy Melodic Rapcore

Bands of this style were everywhere around the turn of the century. While borrowing liberally from Korn and Rage Against the Machine, they also adopted sing-a-long choruses with cute melodies into their sound. We actually let this bullshit happen…


Adult Contemporary Heavy Metal

These groups are known for stylistically blending acoustic guitars, relatively non-threatening lyrics, and harmonized clean vocals all together with heavy as fuck metal riffs. The result? Your parents are moshing!